9 badass quotes Mattis should have omitted from his wedding vows

(Photo credit: Twitter)

By Astronaut Cat

In a career spanning more than five decades, Marine Corps legend and former Secretary of Defense James Mattis was known for his total devotion to duty and the refusal of a personal life. Now, all that has changed: the “warrior monk” has recently married, launching a new chapter in his fighting career.

But will a lifetime of Marines leading the frontline translate into successful command and control of this sacred marriage?

Mattis admits the wedding will be a “combined arms” effort the scope of which he has never seen and that his years of combat experience may not translate directly into marital affairs. Indeed, here are some classic quotes from Mattis that we love, but nonetheless shouldn’t have included in her wedding vows.

  1. “I come in peace. I brought no artillery. But I beg you with tears in my eyes, if you laugh at me, I will kill you all. This line certainly set the tone after the invasion of Iraq, when Mattis had to impress upon Iraqi leaders that his Marines would be tough but fair. The tone he set when he opened his wedding vows with him, however, was another matter.

  2. “There are assholes in the world who just need to be put down.” So true. But not necessarily something to be reiterated when declaring your intention to cherish your love for eternity.

  3. “If you haven’t read hundreds of books…you are functionally illiterate.” It’s hard to say if this was Mattis’ subtle way of encouraging his new wife to read more, or if he was simply reminding friends and family of the minimum functional literacy standards.

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